Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
"Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
"Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
"Hand me that ... uh ... that uh..... thingie"
"Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
"Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
"There go the lights again..."
"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.. and this guy's got two of'em."
"Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!"
"Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off."
"What's this doing here?"
"Someone call the janitor, we have a BIG mess again."
"I hate it when they're missing stuff in here."
"That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!"
"Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us."
"Sterile, shcmedle. The floor's clean, right?"
"What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change..."
"OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature."
"This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?"
"Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?"
"Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough."
"What do you mean "You want a divorce"!"
"FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!"
"Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!"
"...And now we place the ape's brain in the subject's body."
"You forgot what he was in for? Oh well, let's surprise him."

Back to Laugh & Lift